6 things we always take to the park

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+ a good sturdy blanket. {ours is similar, i bought it at costco a few years ago.} i cannot tell you how much use ours has gotten. waterproof is key, and it's nice if it is easy to fold up too. ours just always stays in the car.

+ food. lots and lots and lots of food. nothing kills a great day at the park like unending complaints about being hungry. i find that my kids are more apt to eat healthy when we pack our lunch. "I'm sorry, that's all I brought guys." and so they eat the carrots and hummus.

+ water. for the same said reason above. we gather up every available water bottle and fill them at the house before we leave. we bring them home empty almost every time. 

+ open-ended art supplies. sketch books, colored pencils, clip boards {for portability}, watercolors, glue, etc. when the playground gets old and the snacks are all gone, a little project can buy you some more time on your blanket while the kids are occupied. let them make a mess. you don't really have to worry about cleaning much of it up. 

+ my camera. often times I will let the kids take turns {carefully} using it to shoot things that interest them. sometimes i give them an assignment, "go see if you can find something red...." or "see if you can get a good action shot of your brother swinging." they love uploading and editing.

+ things to read. we bring stuff to lounge and read, books to study, and books for inspiration. 

grattitude

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Over the weekend:

I spent a sweet Friday evening on the patio with my friend Clara and her growing belly. She let me rub it. Friends/birthing assistants are allowed those kinds of privileges.

I inhaled a little backyard campfire.

I taught a birthing class workshop.

I bought fresh flowers from the farmer's market.

I took a 4 hour Saturday afternoon nap in a soft bed by a sunny window.

I had uninterrupted conversation (rare) with one of my very very best friends on the planet. (Thank you Dzhan and Jamie for being so great)

I witnessed some supremely awesome breakdancing which made me laugh so hard.

I feasted on blueberry pancakes and REAL country bacon.

I hiked solo through the most insane amount of beautiful wildflowers...

And this was the view from the top of the Sauer Mountain Trail. Just gorgeous.  

I sat there for a long time feeling so grateful for a beautiful day, a restful weekend, and lots of lovely people who have been so kind over the last weeks. Thank you friends for your words of love and encouragement to me. It means everything.

one of the hardest things I've ever written:

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Many of you have asked why I haven't been writing as much. The answer to that is because I've been going through a divorce. Being a fairly transparent person, I have always tried to keep my blog "real". I like having conversations with you, but it has been hard for me to write honestly. Out of respect for my family, I wanted to be careful about protecting our privacy. I also found it difficult to write about light and fluffy stuff when things have felt so heavy over the last year or more. I couldn't fake it. I don't share this now for any other reason than simply to convey information. I want you to hear it from me, but I am in no way interested in airing dirty laundry, pointing fingers, or shifting blame. I am not compelled to have "my side of the story" be heard or even validated.

I simply want to heal. 

I want that for my children as well. We are all understandably a little beat up from this process. So, I would ask for nothing more than just the extension of your love. If that is too much to ask for, then I'd simply ask that you reserve your judgment. Rest assured that I have been my own harshest critic; toiling over, thinking about, and wrestling with these most difficult decisions.


And... to those of you (you know who you are) who have carried me through this with your unwavering friendships, I will always, always be grateful.

Thank you Dear Friends. Better days are already here.